Letters to the Baumgarters Read online

  “Suck me, bella.” Nico was on the bed in front of me, offering his cock, and I took it like a baby looking to suckle. I wanted to be filled completely.

  “Oh god she’s got such a sweet little cunt,” Mason groaned, reaching under me so he could grab onto one of my swaying breasts.

  “And a hot little mouth,” Nico moaned, grabbing a fist full of my hair. He moaned when I took the time to run my tongue around the head of his cock, tickling the ridge, teasing him.

  “Ohhh!” I squealed when Mason grabbed both of my hips, slamming into me, shaking the whole bed, rocking it against the wall.

  “That’s it!” Nico’s eyes lit up, watching Mason fuck me. “Do it hard!”

  “Don’t forget about his cock,” Mason reminded me, slapping my ass for good measure.

  I yelped, taking Nico between my lips again, the sensation of a cock in my mouth and my pussy at once almost too much for me to bear. I panted around his length, moaning as Mason’s balls slammed wetly against my clit.

  “Suck that cock!” Mason instructed, shoving me down on it with just the motion of his hips, driving his cock into me at the same time. “Oh fuck. Your pussy feels so good, baby. Ahhhh!”

  “You want to swallow my cum?” Nico panted, his hips bucking up, the head of his dick choking me. “Ohhhh yes yes, I’m gonna come in your mouth!”

  I just gagged and nodded and tried to suck him faster, feeling his balls tighten in my hand. Mason groaned behind me and I knew he was watching, his cock pistoning in and out of me at a furious pace.

  “Do it!” he gasped, fucking me so hard it hurt, his fingers rubbing my clit. “Oh fuck! I’m gonna fill that hot little pussy with my cum! Are you ready for it, baby?”

  I couldn’t respond, Nico already flooding my mouth with a geyser of cum. My own climax surprised me, coming out of nowhere, my pussy convulsing around the length of Mason’s cock again and again. He cried out at the sensation , plunging violently into me, like a jolt of lightning striking all of us, followed by the shaking of thunder as we all collapsed onto the bed in a sweaty, panting heap.

  “Oh my god,” I finally gasped, lifting my head and clearing my tangled hair out of my vision. “What was that?”

  “Fucking fantastic,” Mason muttered, his arm thrown over his eyes.

  I sat up on my elbow. “I had no idea you were bi.”

  Mason snorted laughter. “News to me too.”

  “Nico?” I touched his thigh and he jumped, opening one eye to look at me. “You okay?”

  “Dehydrated.” He swallowed, closing his eyes again. “Need… water…”

  I smiled. “Want me to get you a glass?”

  He groaned and sat, shaking his head. “I have to pee anyway.”

  Leaning over, he kissed me softly before padding naked out the door, shutting it behind him.

  “Wow.” Mason let out a pent-up breath. “I mean… wow.”

  “Yeah.” I stared up at the ceiling, lost in thought. I hadn’t had an experience like that since…

  “I have something to tell you.” I sat up and turned to Mason, taking the opportunity while Nico was out of the room. “Remember the Baumgartners?”

  Mason nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Well…” I confessed. “It wasn’t exactly a platonic relationship.”

  He sat up on his elbow, frowning. “What do you mean?”

  “We were sleeping together.”

  “All three of you?” he exclaimed.

  I nodded. “It started out just with Carrie. But eventually things progressed, and I was sleeping with them both. And then… I sort of fell in love with them.”

  He cleared his throat. “Both of them?”

  “I know it sounds impossible, but it isn’t,” I went on. “I loved them and they loved me too.”

  “Wow.” He put his hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling. “I had no idea.”

  “I didn’t advertise it,” I replied. I didn’t remind him that he and I had been in the middle of getting divorced, either. “I think most people wouldn’t understand.”

  He looked over at me. “Why are you telling me this now?”

  Good question, I thought. I glanced at the door, hearing the water running in the sink, knowing Nico would be back soon.

  “Because Carrie and Doc had a special relationship.”

  Mason rolled his eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  I had to make him understand.

  “The Baumgartners were committed to each other, no matter what,” I explained. “Bringing me into their marriage didn’t change their love for each other. Nothing could change that. Don’t you see?”

  “No…” He frowned. “Go ahead, hit me over the head with it. What are you talking about?”

  I swallowed and finally spit it out. “I think we’re like that.”

  “Like the Baumgartners?”

  “Yes!” I cried. The water had turned off in the bathroom. I expected Nico back any moment. “Look at what we’ve gone through. My god, we even got divorced, and still, I kept on loving you. I can’t stop loving you, Mason. I never, ever will.”

  “I know.” He smiled softly, brushing the hair away from my eyes. “Me too.”

  “I don’t think it would matter what happened or who came into our lives, we would still love each other.”

  He nodded. “That’s true.”

  “So… if we commit to each other, love each other… why can’t we love someone else too?”

  He looked at me and I saw the understanding in his eyes, finally. “Nico?”

  I nodded, snuggling up against his chest, waiting. Waiting for him to explode with anger. Waiting for Nico to come in and break up our conversation. Waiting for the world to end. Or begin. Whichever came first.

  “Why not?” he finally murmured. I lifted my head, looking at him, incredulous. “Dani, as long as I know you’re mine, I could share you with anyone. The whole damned world could have you, as long as I knew you were coming back to me.”

  “That’s how I feel too.” I blinked back tears.

  “I want you to be happy.” He rubbed his thumb along my jaw line. “And clearly, Nico makes you happy.”

  “You make me happy too,” I countered.

  “I know.” He smiled. “But Dani… I have to know you’re mine.”

  “I am,” I insisted. “I always will be.”

  “Then marry me.”

  It wasn’t a question, but I answered it anyway, without hesitation.

  “Yes.”

  He brightened. “Really?”

  “Yes. Yes!” I threw my arms around him and this time I let my tears fall as we rolled around on the bed, laughing and crying at the same time.

  “Forever this time?” he whispered in my ear.

  “It was always forever,” I said. “We just took a little break.”

  He kissed me, sealing the deal, as Nico came into the room. He stood there nude, framed in the doorway, looking at us.

  “So I guess you’ve made your decision,” he said, looking at me.

  Oh god. How much had he heard?

  “Yes,” Mason replied, sitting up. I glanced at him, eyes wide. “And we’d like you to be a part of it, if you’re willing.”

  “Come here.” I sat too, reaching my hand out for Nico.

  He came to the bed he shared with both of us, listening to what we proposed, and it was a proposal, of sorts. There would be no piece of paper between the three of us, no legal document, but he would be ours and we would be his.

  And when he said yes, I sobbed with happiness, falling into his arms, into both of their arms. Nothing had ever felt so right.

  Chapter Nine

  Dear Carrie and Doc,

  I made my decision. I made it before I even received your letter, but of course, you suggested the very thing I ultimately decided on. Go figure! I can’t thank you enough for being courageous enough to tell me what to do. I know I was being crazy. I was crazy. Maybe I still am! But it takes quite a friend to sha
ke another one awake and tell them… what was it? “Making choices means making commitments.”

  Yes, it does. And I’ve committed. Some people may say I need to be committed, but I’ve chosen what works for me, for us. Mason was and is and always will be my first love, just like Doc is yours. I can’t deny that. But I love Nico too, and thankfully, so does Mason. And both of them love me. What could be more perfect than that?

  I don’t know what will happen in the future, what it may bring. Italy beckons and Nico’s home and family are here, but Mason can’t speak a word of Italian (although Nico is working hard on helping him learn!) and his parents, although he claims he’s not their slave anymore, don’t want him to stay here, and they’ve made that pretty unequivocally clear.

  What happens if Mason and I move back to the states? Will Nico follow? What happens if I find a job in Italy? Will Mason be willing to stay? So much is up in the air.

  But at least now I know. My choice is made. I have committed myself to this, and I have two men who love me beyond words. I am a very, very lucky woman.

  * * * *

  “I told her we’d come by for half an hour or so.” Nico squeezed my hand as we climbed the stairs to his mother’s flat. I could hear Mama Dorotea calling to one of Nico’s siblings, something about setting the table. “She wanted to do something nice for your graduation.”

  “Are you sure you guys want me tagging along?” Mason asked, standing behind us as we stopped at the door. “I don’t think your mother likes me very much.”

  “I don’t care.” Nico’s jaw tightened. “Besides, we won’t stay long, I promise.”

  Everyone was already there, Nico’s sisters busying themselves setting the table, except for the younger Caprice, who was holding the baby in her lap. He was smiling and laughing, almost sitting up by himself already. Anna’s husband, Sal, and Giulia’s husband, Will, were parked in front of the television, and Anna’s two kids were on the floor playing a card game.

  “There she is!” Mama Dorotea spoke in English, her accent thick. “The graduation girl!”

  There was a big banner “CONGRATULATIONS DANIELLA” hanging on the wall. I didn’t quibble about the spelling.

  Mama Dorotea hugged me, rocking back and forth, patting me on the back, saying “Congratulazioni!” again and again. I thanked her, finally disengaging myself, only to have her turn her attentions to her son, hugging him even harder than she had me, crooning over him.

  Mason watched this with a mixture of unease and amusement on his face. I took his hand and squeezed it, leading him into the room.

  “Cute kid.” Mason sat on the sofa, looking down at Caprice playing with Luka on the floor. “He’s getting big.”

  “Want to hold him?” Caprice offered, lifting the baby up. I glanced over to see Mama Dorotea whispering something intently in Nico’s ear.

  “Ummm.” Mason didn’t have much choice. Caprice plopped the baby in his lap, standing and brushing off her jeans.

  “I’ll be right back,” she said, heading down the hallway toward her room.

  “Okay then.” Mason lifted Luka up under the arms, looking at him. The baby drooled, giving us a toothless smile. God, it still made my uterus hurt to look at a baby, but it was different than before. Now it was the pain of wanting, instead of the pain of loss.

  “You look good with a baby in your arms,” I teased him.

  He smiled over at me, letting the baby bounce on his knees.

  “How’s the heir to the throne?” Nico asked, joining us in the living room. Mama Dorotea had finally let him go and had busied herself instructing her daughters to rearrange place settings at the table.

  “Drooling,” Mason informed him, watching a dark spot growing on the thigh of his dress pants where a pool of Luka’s saliva had fallen.

  “He’s teething,” Giulia called from the dining room where I could see her folding napkins. “Breastfeeding is murder nowadays.”

  “Oh.” Mason blinked. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “At least he’s getting some,” Will grumbled. He said it in Italian and Mason raised his eyebrows at me when I laughed.

  “Tell you later,” I whispered.

  “So Daniella, what are you going to do now that you’ve graduated?” Anna asked, coming into the living room. She sat on the arm of the chair her husband was kicked back in. Everyone was speaking English for Mason’s benefit.

  I shrugged. “Look for a job, I guess.”

  “In Italy or back in the states?” Giulia joined her sister in the living room, reaching for the baby. Mason gave Luka back and I smiled at his reluctance.

  “I’m not really sure…” I glanced at Mason and then at Nico.

  “You have to hear this!” Caprice came into the room waving a CD case. “I’m in looooooove with this singer!”

  Will and Sal protested but she put it on the stereo anyway, some American pop singer I’d never heard of named Rick Astley.

  “Everything okay?” I leaned in so just Nico could hear me over the sound of the music.

  He shrugged one shoulder, looking up as Mama Dorotea appeared in the doorway.

  “Well, in honor of Daniella’s graduation,” she said, her accent heavy. “I have something to give to her.”

  Nico and I exchanged amused looks. She was talking like I wasn’t even in the room.

  “Girls, help me,” she said, urging them to follow her.

  “What in the world?” I mused, watching as Anna and Caprice followed their mother out the door. It wasn’t long before I found out. All three of them reappeared in the doorway carrying a ton of cream-colored satin and lace.

  Nico half-stood, his jaw dropped. I just stared, aghast, as all of them held up the dress, spreading the train out on the floor. It was the most beautiful dress I’d ever seen, and looking at Mama Dorotea’s face, I knew I was going to have to break her heart.

  “For you,” she said proudly. “I made it myself. I can’t wait for you to be my new daughter.”

  She was actually blinking back tears, which just made it worse, and brought tears to my own eyes.

  “Nico,” I whispered, gulping.

  “Mama, you shouldn’t have done this.” He stood fully now, looking back at me. “I can’t believe you did this.”

  “Well I know it’s a little premature,” she said by way of apology. “But your sister said you bought her a ring, and I know she’s going to say yes.”

  Mama Dorotea beamed at me and I smiled weakly back, feeling sick. Then it dawned on me, exactly what she’d just said.

  “You… what?” I blinked up at Nico. “A ring?”

  He shrugged, reddening. “It was before… before I knew.”

  “Knew what?” Mama Dorotea demanded, arms crossed over her chest.

  Mason cleared his throat, standing. “That Dani’s agreed to marry me.”

  “Again?” Anna exclaimed.

  “Yes,” I replied. “Again.”

  Mama Dorotea drew herself up to her full height—all of about five-foot-two—and shook her finger at me. “How dare you come into my house! How dare you do this to my son!”

  Nico stepped between her and me—she was heading straight for me, like a cat, claws out—grabbing her wrists. Everyone stared—even the baby had stopped fussing to watch.

  “Mama, it’s fine.”

  She frowned up at him. “What?”

  “It’s fine,” he said again, letting her go, but not letting her get to me either. “I knew about it. Dani told me. She’s made her decision and it’s final.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered, blinking back tears.

  I felt Mason’s hand on my shoulder. “Maybe we should go.”

  “No!” Nico turned to me, frowning. “I want you to stay.”

  I looked up at him, pleading with my eyes, and then he sighed.

  “I’m sorry you went through all this work.” I looked at the dress then at Mama Dorotea. “I’m so… so sorry.”

  “You should be.” She glared at me a
round her son. “You’re going to regret this!” Then she turned and stalked off toward the kitchen, leaving her daughters holding the dress.

  “Let’s go.” Nico sighed.

  Mama Dorotea reappeared in the doorway. “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “Home,” he said, taking my hand. Mason already had my other one.

  “Don’t you walk out that door!” Mama Dorotea pulled at Nico’s shirt as we started for the door. “Don’t you dare!”

  “Mama!” He spoke Italian back to her. “Listen to me. I’m a grown man. I’ve been old enough to make my own decisions for a long time. I love you, but I’m your child, not your possession. You don’t own me. You don’t get to say where I go or what I do. Please. Just… let me go.”

  She stood in the doorway, tears streaming down her face, and I felt horrible for her in that moment. I wanted to put my arms around her and comfort her, but I knew I was the last person she wanted sympathy from.

  She proved that at the last moment, calling, “He’s far too good for you anyway!” before slamming the door behind us.

  “Well,” Mason said as we went down the stairs. “That was awful.”

  “She’s just pouting,” Nico replied, taking my hand again as we started to walk, Mason on my other side. “She’ll get over it.”

  “But…” I swallowed, glancing up at Nico. “I have to know. Are you really okay with this?”

  “I told you, it’s just a piece of paper,” he replied, swinging my hand. The day was bright and beautiful, the water of the canal dappled with afternoon sunshine. “I know you love me, and I don’t care, as long as we’re together.”

  “Let’s go home,” Mason said.

  And that’s just what we did.

  * * * *

  Lunch with Cara Lucia went far better than I thought it would. She wasn’t angry with me. In fact, she sounded truly happy when I told her that I was getting married again.

  It was when I told her, a bit reluctantly, about Nico that she really surprised me.

  “You are a very blessed woman,” she said. “Not many women get to be Beatrice to one man’s Dante—let alone two.”